Nathan Posso took his own life on Jan 9 2014 in the skyway at LaSalle Plaza in downtown Minneapolis.
When I stopped into Hard Times Cafe on Wednesday, there stood a shady figure standing by the door, smoking a cigarette. I had my 16mo old son in one arm, getting excited to see his mom on break and make up for a morning of not nursing. The weather was whipping us so I hurried him in, politely saying hi to the bearded figure, recognizing him as a friend or acquaintance. His hood was pulled down so far over his eyes, I could barely tell who it was, but the figure didn't reciprocate much so I didn't think much of it. I took Rowan to meet with his mom, as he was getting fussy, and went about my business. After we left, I realized the hooded figure sitting in a booth quietly reading a large novel was Posso, and I wondered why he hadn't reached out to me more, as he normally would, sharing some sign or acknowledgement of our friendship and history. Maybe he wasn't feeling right? Maybe he had already made up his mind...
It saddens me to know that my son will never get to know the amazing person that I had met many years ago in Milwaukee. A curator of so many seemingly endless nights of random vandal shit, stories, laughter, and love. Posso was a wild-ass, a real free spirit, who really truly loved and cared for his friends.
And he's not the only one either. I cringe at trying to count the number of at one time close friends that have taken their own lives early, by purpose or accident. It is in a world so full of oppression and hardship that some of the most brilliant stars burn out so fast.
What worries me is this: When our friends who have made some of the worst decisions for themselves (i.e. experimenting with deadly drugs) aren't around anymore, the teachers of tomorrow will not have these experiences to look back on. Lessons are not only taught by what works, but also by what doesn't, and sometimes even more strongly. Overdosing and dying gives us one lesson, but living through it to tell others of the horrors of the experience(s) tells quite another unique, more direct and personal story.
We know that certain drugs disrupt the brain's serotonin and dopamine receptors, possibly permanently, and it is obviously an extremely difficult point to continue from. What can we do, as a whole, to keep these stars from dying out so fast? How can we really show the ones who haven't yet gone down this path to avoid it at all costs?
Anyways, we will miss Posso forever and I hope that other amazing people that have been though some shit and back are still around to hang out with my son. As a matter of fact, come hang out now...
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